Syaoran's New Oniichan
by CheeseyCraziness
Summary: This might be more difficult than ANYTHING yet to come. Yes, more difficult than asking Sakura to marry him. Than actually marrying her. Than having their first child. Syaoran REALLY didn't want to ask Touya for his blessing. Slight SxS, oneshot, FUNNY


"You used to have a crush on me when you were little, didn't you?"

Syaoran blinked, startled out of his panicking thoughts. "What?"

Yukito smiled with amusement. "When you first came to Tomoeda."

"Damn, that's a long time ago," Syaoran replied, scratching his head. "I did, sort of. Uh, it's more complicated than that. But I suppose I crushed on you the same as Sakura did, all those years ago. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. I've just always suspected it, and figured you could use something to take your mind off of whatever you're thinking at the moment. So I asked."

"You're more perceptive than you let on," Syaoran muttered. "Thank you, though."

"Did you ever talk about it with Sakura-chan? I mean, that you are potentially bisexual?"

Syaoran glared at him. "Yes. It had nothing to do with you. It was just because you were Yue, and had powers of the moon, that both of us were drawn to you. We both know that. You know it too; you just wanted to ask me to make me angry and distract me. Thank you, again."

"Don't mention it. Nikuman?" He offered, all too cheerful.

Syaoran remembered the first time he'd met Yukito, and shuddered. "I think if I eat something I'll just throw up. I don't think I'll risk hurting my chances of success with vomit."

"More for me," Yukito said with a shrug. "Touya will be back any minute now."

"Wonderful." His voice was dry enough to wipe out an entire lake.

So was his mouth. This has to be even worse than actually proposing to Sakura will be, he thought nauseously. Why do I have a death wish?

Because I want the best for Sakura, even if it means I next see her with one hell of a black eye and a broken arm. I'm a masochist, Syaoran thought grumpily as he eyed the counter.

"Do you sell water here?" he asked.

"Sure. Toss me some yen, and I'll grab you a bottle. Actually, it's free, since you're going to die anyway," Yukito said cheerfully.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Syaoran growled as Yukito went in the back.

He realized suddenly that it was also as hot as a desert in here. You'd think an ice cream shop would be better air conditioned, but of course not. Anything to make this even more impossible a task. Now he thirsted for his water like mad.

Luckily, Yukito returned a moment later and tossed a bottle of water his way. Syaoran caught it deftly, and unscrewed the cap. He spared a moment's thought over dumping it on his head, but just decided to gulp it all down. Better to appear uncomfortable and looking well-groomed than sopping wet but happily cool.

Damn summer weather, Syaoran thought. He furtively glanced out the window, taking another swig of the water as he did.

A car pulled up outside. A very familiar one.

Shit.

Syaoran muttered prayers under his breath as a brown-haired man exited the car, and entered the ice cream shop fully clothed in the cheesy uniform.

Touya blinked at him. "What are you doing here, brat?" he asked at last.

The familiar name made Syaoran's eye twitch in annoyance. "I needed to talk to you," he forced himself to say. "So I asked Sakura where you were working this week."

Even now Touya still kept up his strange habit of always having a different job from day to day, and Yukito continued to follow. Syaoran had been confused for years, until he realized that Touya had been lurking somewhere nearby on each and every one of their first dates. After enough dates, he seemed to disappear – but that may have been more from Syaoran's shrewdly secretive planning than from Touya giving up on following them.

Wow, he really was overprotective of his sister. All his jobs were to watch over her. Syaoran would have bet good money, to anybody willing to take such a bet, that Sakura had an appointment or something at this very ice cream shop in the near future.

With any luck, that appointment was not scheduled for today.

Resisting the urge to twiddle his thumbs nervously as he hadn't done for years, Syaoran waited for Touya's reply.

"You talked to my boss?" Touya asked suddenly.

Syaoran shrugged. "He's fine with it. You'll get your pay."

"Doesn't matter; I'm quitting tomorrow, but nice to know you care. Fine, we'll talk. Oy, Yuki!" he shouted suddenly.

"Yes, Touya?"

"Watch my shift for a while, will you? The brat wants to ask me something."

"Sure. Try not to hurt him too badly, will you? He's fun to talk to," Yukito said, grinning cheekily.

Touya grunted. Syaoran hoped that meant yes.

And so, the older man proceed to sit down in one of the mismatched lacy iron-wrought chairs that the quaint shop proudly wore, and Syaoran sat across from him, quaking in his proverbial boots.

"So. I guess you're not here for a social visit."

"True," Syaoran said with a grimace. He took a deep breath, and decided to blurt it out at once. "I'm here to ask for Sakura's hand in marriage," he said quickly.

Time passed by silently. Syaoran felt his chances of survival sinking more and more below Touya's cold gaze with every passing second.

"That was fast. I thought you would dance around it until I had to force you to spit it out," Touya finally remarked.

"I've never been good at dancing around things. I just say it, or I don't."

"True. You openly declared war when we first met."

"I thought it was _you_ that openly declared war."

"You were threatening my sister!"

"But you didn't have to –" Syaoran cut himself off suddenly. Shut up _now_, he ordered himself. Before he finds a reason to say no!

And to his complete surprise, Touya nodded. "That's fair. I didn't have to jump right in and attempt to fight you. But I did. I don't regret that in the least. That was a long time ago, though. So, how do you plan to persuade me, then?"

"I was hoping I would just get punched in the face, give me an answer, and then I could go before I got myself in mortal danger," Syaoran admitted. "You being cordial wasn't part of the plan."

"Why did you come to ask me? You didn't have to. You only had to ask otou-san for his blessing, but you decided to ask anyway, and possibly risk your life."

Syaoran answered, "Fujitaka-san. He suggested it, after giving his blessing. I was probably going to ask you anyway, though. You've always been like a second father to Sakura, in some ways. The overprotective one, of course."

"Of course."

"I guess I just figured it wouldn't be right _not_ to ask you. You're her brother, and very close to her. I owe it to both of you."

"If you're this honest with Sakura, you may have a chance in hell," Touya remarked, still not giving away anything.

Syaoran didn't even dare chance answering that one. Instead, he waited for Touya to speak again.

"Alright, a couple more questions. Do you love her?"

Forgetting that he was speaking to Touya, Syaoran glared, practically shouting "duh" with only his eyes. "Yes," he answered.

"Right, stupid question. Fine, next question: can you support her?"

"Easily."

"Are you aware that breaking her heart will result in a slow, painful death potentially lasting decades depending on my mood?"

"I won't ever do that," Syaoran protested. Before Touya could answer, he held up a hand. "Nevertheless, yes, I understand. I would accept those consequences proudly, assuming that I'm not already dead by then. There's a long list of people who would be happy to kill me if I ever hurt her, and it's all a matter of who can get to me first."

"Next question. Would you give up your family and your magic for her?"

"Last resort, but yes."

"Alright. One last question, then."

Syaoran gulped, feeling that this would be the most important question of all. This was it. Everything hung on this final query, and if he answered wrong, everything would fail.

"What's your favorite kind of ice cream?"

Syaoran gaped. "Uh – chocolate?"

"Alright."

"That's – that's it?" Syaoran asked, gaping.

"That's it," Touya agreed with a nod. "Yuki! Get me a chocolate ice cream and a strawberry ice cream."

"Strawberry?"

"You have something against strawberry?"

"No. Sakura likes it too," Syaoran explained. "But – that's it?"

"Didn't I already answer that?" Touya asked, glaring at him. "Yes, that's it. You and Sakura have my blessing, brat."

"But – but – how?"

"Are you kidding? If she married anybody else, I'd have to kill you for letting her go. You'll protect her forever. I planned to approve you from the start."

"But – the questions – and I expected to at least get punched!"

"Would you like me to?"

"Ah, no. Thank you."

Touya shrugged. "As for the questions, I just like messing with my future brother-in-law." Then, he shuddered. "That sounded even more…"

"Strange? Impossible?"

"…Than I thought it would," Touya finished.

Syaoran wholeheartedly agreed. Fervently, even.

Yukito arrived with their ice cream, grinning cheerfully. "I _told_ you not to worry, Li-kun, but you didn't listen, did you?"

Instead of answering, Syaoran eagerly dug into the chocolate ice cream, nodding his thanks to Yukito.

Touya glared lightly at Yukito. "Nice of you to warn him."

"Touya, stop pretending you don't like Li-kun yourself," Yukito advised. "It's mean."

"He's lying," Touya growled at Syaoran.

"Touya means, he hates that he respects you and knows that you're the best person for Sakura-chan."

"Stop that, already."

"Make me," Yukito said, still cheerful. Touya just glared at him, dropping the subject.

And Syaoran took his cue. "Thank you for the ice cream, Tsukishiro-san," he said with a respectful nod. "It was delicious." He pulled out a tip, and then stood, nodding to Touya as well.

"Goodbye, and thank you," he said with a slight smile, and then added: "_Onii-chan_."

"DAMN YOU, KID!" Touya yelled. "DON'T MAKE ME TAKE THAT BACK!" he shouted, but Syaoran was long gone. Luckily.

.o0o.

When Syaoran dropped in on the modeling agency to find a certain somebody, he did not expect to be suddenly attacked from behind.

"Syaoran!" Sakura squeaked happily, pouncing on him. "Why are you here?"

He smiled. "Actually, I came to continue my little affair with Tomoyo-chan."

"Hoe! That's mean!" Sakura complained. "And why are you so upbeat that you're even making jokes?"

"I ran into Touya," he half-lied, grinning as he planted a kiss upon her cheek.

"And you're _smiling?_" she said dubiously. "Scratch that. You're _alive?_"

"Yes, and if you kiss me again you can make sure I'm not a zombie," Syaoran quipped.

"Mou, I think I'll just let Tomoyo-chan do that," she replied wickedly. "No, really. What's got you so happy?"

"Your brother, I swear! He's quite an older brother. He really cares, you know that?"

There was a tone of respect and awe in his voice that made Sakura think twice about her next reply. "Really? What did he do?"

"Nothing, nothing," Syaoran said innocently. "But, I'm happily not bruised. I think that's cause enough for celebration. Sakura, will you go out with me to dinner tonight?" he asked quietly as he fingered something in his pocket.

"Of course!" Sakura replied cheerfully. "But you have to tell me what onii-chan did later, promise?"

"Promise." And he sealed it with a kiss.

.o0o.

Agh! I know I said was going on semi-permanent hiatus as of this past weekend, but that semi-permanent hiatus starts NOW instead. I had this little plot bunny, and I simply couldn't bear not to write it! I always thought Touya-kun would accept Syaoran-kun in the end, and then this idea came along, and ah, how irresistible!

I hope everybody else enjoyed it as much as I did. (cackles) And did anybody else notice Syaoran made – gasp – a JOKE?!?!?!

Dedicated to my father, whose sense of humor is much worse than he thinks it is.


End file.
